BYE BYE !!!!
Saturday, July 31, 2004
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
5pm Bentleys, this Friday
My Future in the Blogosphere is uncertain. Who knows when I will update next. It could be as soon as Monday, where I am holed up in the penthouse suite of the Keio plaza, using the laptop of one of Japan's highest ranking dignitaries surrounded by the finest cocaine and call girls Japan has to offer (fingers crossed people!) or it could be some time later after i finally get together enough money to buy my own laptop after having just spent the previous six weeks individually naming every chopstick in Japan just to pass the time. Some may suggest other options are possible, but such voices of reason have no place in my world. Or in Japan apparently. Already I hear this year that in Group A bunch of JETS (who left last saturday) a huge fight broke out in the hotel, one person drank themself into an alcoholic-induced coma, and someone left their passport in the Heathrow departure lounge thereby ensuring he was placed under house arrest at his own expense in Narita airport until his passport was flown to him from England. Actually this is really the fault of dumbfuck westerners, but I hear that Japan can have such an affect on people. That said, what could be worse than the psychological mind-munch that is doing a thesis.
Anyway, my point is that my adoring fans will have to make sure that they are vigilant in taking their medication until I come back and regale you with stories and exploits of people who may or may not be me. In the mean time you will have to settle for Dave's stream of consciousness, which I sadistically found quite amusing. I do empathise though Dave, I really do, especially in regards to:
surrounded by pies and piles and lines and lines of the world's most fantastic literature and thought. But, no. I hate it. It's terrible. Books scare me. I don't really like intelligent and intellectual discussions
I remember the time I took university and intellectualism for about 5 seconds, boy I must have been lame. That is until i read about existentialism and post-modern theory, realised my existence or the comprehension of my existence and that the very foundations of knoweldge were indeed not objective, but really just a great big fat blueberry cheesecake, and that it would not matter too much if i just ate it instead. It also lead me to conclude that the smartest person is not she or he who gets published most or portrays themselves as the wittiest, but he or she who is the first to own a capuchin monkey and train them to peform de-stressing head massages. Now that would be smart if only the NZ government would allow it.
Oh and best of luck to AMPC, make sure you take it out this time guys, I am going to miss it heaps.
Make sure you eat your Marmite and Baked Beans peoples, and also enjoy your sit down toilets and you bastards!
Anyway, my point is that my adoring fans will have to make sure that they are vigilant in taking their medication until I come back and regale you with stories and exploits of people who may or may not be me. In the mean time you will have to settle for Dave's stream of consciousness, which I sadistically found quite amusing. I do empathise though Dave, I really do, especially in regards to:
surrounded by pies and piles and lines and lines of the world's most fantastic literature and thought. But, no. I hate it. It's terrible. Books scare me. I don't really like intelligent and intellectual discussions
I remember the time I took university and intellectualism for about 5 seconds, boy I must have been lame. That is until i read about existentialism and post-modern theory, realised my existence or the comprehension of my existence and that the very foundations of knoweldge were indeed not objective, but really just a great big fat blueberry cheesecake, and that it would not matter too much if i just ate it instead. It also lead me to conclude that the smartest person is not she or he who gets published most or portrays themselves as the wittiest, but he or she who is the first to own a capuchin monkey and train them to peform de-stressing head massages. Now that would be smart if only the NZ government would allow it.
Oh and best of luck to AMPC, make sure you take it out this time guys, I am going to miss it heaps.
Make sure you eat your Marmite and Baked Beans peoples, and also enjoy your sit down toilets and you bastards!
Saturday, July 24, 2004
One Weeksville
Sucky, Sucky, Sucky, Sucky.
The last couple of night, while relatively quiet nights, have been fun hanging with all, but of course, makes you kind of sad and stuff. Especially when people seem to actually care that you are leaving. Nice. And I am only 2 days into my 9 day saying goodbye to everyone gauntlet run. Shit I am popular. Almost as popular as the job of shaving Dave I dare say, but I dont want to push my luck with that claim.
Wearing suits is cool. And I now can tie a tie.
Going away does weird things to you. Like for example, not minding Dave Dobbyn quite as much. And not being mildly interested in girls except in the most superficially visceral sense of being so. Or not wanting to tie your shoelaces.
Mulled Wine tastes like Hot Cross Buns. I was not comfortable with it. And holding a balloon in a room with heavy bass beats going through it makes you feel like you are holding the ORB OF POWER! So the postgrad ball was good. And everyone looked pretty hot all decked out. Thank god we are all so god damn attractive. Sometimes I think we are all too beautiful to live. I am also pretty sure I am plagarising that from somewhere. My nose is sore, and it hurts to sneeze. I am starting to sound like Emma writing in such syncopated sentences. But I am hungover.
Balloon really is a funny word, I do think.
The last couple of night, while relatively quiet nights, have been fun hanging with all, but of course, makes you kind of sad and stuff. Especially when people seem to actually care that you are leaving. Nice. And I am only 2 days into my 9 day saying goodbye to everyone gauntlet run. Shit I am popular. Almost as popular as the job of shaving Dave I dare say, but I dont want to push my luck with that claim.
Wearing suits is cool. And I now can tie a tie.
Going away does weird things to you. Like for example, not minding Dave Dobbyn quite as much. And not being mildly interested in girls except in the most superficially visceral sense of being so. Or not wanting to tie your shoelaces.
Mulled Wine tastes like Hot Cross Buns. I was not comfortable with it. And holding a balloon in a room with heavy bass beats going through it makes you feel like you are holding the ORB OF POWER! So the postgrad ball was good. And everyone looked pretty hot all decked out. Thank god we are all so god damn attractive. Sometimes I think we are all too beautiful to live. I am also pretty sure I am plagarising that from somewhere. My nose is sore, and it hurts to sneeze. I am starting to sound like Emma writing in such syncopated sentences. But I am hungover.
Balloon really is a funny word, I do think.
Thursday, July 15, 2004
Contra-Revelations
On the matter of the Christchurch bus system I would like to say four things
1) It is good. It should be used. It is relatively environmentally friendly, cost-effective and you probably couldnt ask for much better given the size of Christchurch
2)The Bus drivers are inspirationally insane! They are living embodiments of perfectly blended, divinely favoured luck, pyscho and skill in so far that it allows them to do whatever they want, whenever they want, and still somehow not cause accidents.
3)I find it rather interesting that the Ilam Bus and the Templeton Prison bus often take off at the same time, which presents an interesting picture to the observer. Lining up in front of one door are some moderately well dressed university students in search of a better future or merely something to do for the day, immaculately well dressed Asian women, and supercilliously affluent looking non-university Ilam folk who probably had to take the European car in for repairs to the one store in town specialising in its parts; and lining up in front of the other door are a range of terribly, terribly dressed, often tattooed old and young single mothers waiting to go out to visit their incarcerated boyfriends and looking damn excited about it. Now, if you want to maintain the internal vitality of a hierarchically structured, well oiled inequality creating society, then the number one rule is that people must not come face to face with their reflective others. So obviously this was a case of incredibly bad planning or just generally bad poor taste.
4)I hate teenage girls. You cannot comprehend my distaste for these vile creatures......not in a million years. If you offered me the choice between sitting on the bus in the presence of a horde of these realism retarded psuedo-primates and suffering from a sudden, painful and near fatal bout of malaria, then I would take malaria everyday, even on OBNOXIOUS LOUD INCREDIBLY STUPID FUCKING MENTAL OFFENSIVELY DRESSED TEENAGE GIRL CONVERSATION APPRECIATION DAY where in my malarial-induced stupor I would declare my lifelong love for Jason Priestly, and pray to sweet merciful god that I be duly taken away and locked up for the rest of my life. Get the picture? Well then multiply that by how happy Tim and Ben are currently at the moment, and then multiply that by the amount of hits Britney Spears gets on google per day to the power of Jennifer Lopez's marriage, and you might come to a fractional understanding of my disaffection with such females.
But every cloud has a silver lining, as in Japan, I will not understand such inane conversations on public transport. Perhaps being ignorant might not be such a bad thing after all.
1) It is good. It should be used. It is relatively environmentally friendly, cost-effective and you probably couldnt ask for much better given the size of Christchurch
2)The Bus drivers are inspirationally insane! They are living embodiments of perfectly blended, divinely favoured luck, pyscho and skill in so far that it allows them to do whatever they want, whenever they want, and still somehow not cause accidents.
3)I find it rather interesting that the Ilam Bus and the Templeton Prison bus often take off at the same time, which presents an interesting picture to the observer. Lining up in front of one door are some moderately well dressed university students in search of a better future or merely something to do for the day, immaculately well dressed Asian women, and supercilliously affluent looking non-university Ilam folk who probably had to take the European car in for repairs to the one store in town specialising in its parts; and lining up in front of the other door are a range of terribly, terribly dressed, often tattooed old and young single mothers waiting to go out to visit their incarcerated boyfriends and looking damn excited about it. Now, if you want to maintain the internal vitality of a hierarchically structured, well oiled inequality creating society, then the number one rule is that people must not come face to face with their reflective others. So obviously this was a case of incredibly bad planning or just generally bad poor taste.
4)I hate teenage girls. You cannot comprehend my distaste for these vile creatures......not in a million years. If you offered me the choice between sitting on the bus in the presence of a horde of these realism retarded psuedo-primates and suffering from a sudden, painful and near fatal bout of malaria, then I would take malaria everyday, even on OBNOXIOUS LOUD INCREDIBLY STUPID FUCKING MENTAL OFFENSIVELY DRESSED TEENAGE GIRL CONVERSATION APPRECIATION DAY where in my malarial-induced stupor I would declare my lifelong love for Jason Priestly, and pray to sweet merciful god that I be duly taken away and locked up for the rest of my life. Get the picture? Well then multiply that by how happy Tim and Ben are currently at the moment, and then multiply that by the amount of hits Britney Spears gets on google per day to the power of Jennifer Lopez's marriage, and you might come to a fractional understanding of my disaffection with such females.
But every cloud has a silver lining, as in Japan, I will not understand such inane conversations on public transport. Perhaps being ignorant might not be such a bad thing after all.
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Revelations
Okay finally the expected angst about my wee little journey has arrived. Nothing serious, but until now I would basically describe my attitude as consisting of confident anticipation. However every now and then I get hit with the surreal realisation that I am actually doing this. Reflecting upon life until now, as one is wont to do in such a situation, I realised that until the age of 14, I had never lived in one city or town for more than 3 and a half years at a time. This made me quite adaptable from an early age even if it did mean I went through periods where I suffered from a lack of, well, friends. Then I arrived back in Christchurch and for once finally settled down and I have now lived in one town for 10 years now, and while I still think I am adaptable, I have realised how comfortable I am here, something that I have only recently acquired.
I know the city so well, the bus routes, the good places for coffee, for food, for alcohol, for music, the shopping, drugs, prostitution and minature Llama rental opportunities. Now all this knowledge will now count for zilch. This is not so bad, and in fact half the fun will be exploring and discovering these things, but here is the kicker...I dont speak the freakin' language. While one could convincing argue that the dialects differ considerably between the Christchurch "ghetto", the Canberra Suburbs, and the Gore Hillbillyscape, it by no means resembles anything of the magnatitude of what I am about to experience. Perhaps, contrary to popular belief, I am not well accustomed to the feeling of being a "Stunned Mullet" or whatever expression one may wish to use to express haphazard bewilderment. However, this will become my daily state of being. Now, what also comes with this is a sense of excitement, which until now was not really present due to some of the other exigencies that I have had to attend to. However, interspersed with said excitement are intermittent but nonetheless violent feelings of trepidation and a stream of thought process that goes something like "why the hell would i do something like this just for personal growth you crazy fool, you know they dont even use toilets the same way as you!".
Actually the hygenie thing I am quite ambivalent about. As I have a penchant for being clean (I often bath or shower at least twice a day, and if I had the choice, three times), I like the idea of Japanese baths where you have a shower before entering the bath. However, while clean, the whole sharing with other naked people is a little concerning. I do not do that with friends or workmates here {shudder} so it will take some time to get used to it there. I may be able to console myself with extra cleanliness, but its still kind of, trying not to be judgemental here..."different". Especially the whole not having a sit down toilet thing. Oh well, at least ill get extremely strong inner thighs, and if not, one can always solve many of lifes problems by asking for extra cheese, and as I have found recently, watching SpongeBobSquarePants, who interestingly has now inspired a church, whose Tenets famously include:
- Running around naked was fun when you were a kid, and can be fun as an adult
- Go home regularly
- You can surprise the hell out of someone by throwing a birthday party for them when it isn't their birthday
- Wearing lucky underpants or a good luck charm may not work - but how can it hurt?
- Saa-laads suck
but then again, this church have a lot of namby-pamby stuff that I think miss the point like:
- Manipulating the honesty of the naive may appear to work in the short term but will not work in the long term
- It is not easy to fire someone, in fact, it is - and should be - one of the most difficult things you ever do
- Warning people about something that isn't a problem creates a problem
which while sage advice, their allure in my opinion lies in that they are just really fucking funny to do
Aaaah, the sweet refuge of insanity......
Anyway, for the whole one of you that care, I feel better, although every time I get introspective like this, I feel like beating myself for being so lame. I guess I am human, after all. Shocking, really.
I know the city so well, the bus routes, the good places for coffee, for food, for alcohol, for music, the shopping, drugs, prostitution and minature Llama rental opportunities. Now all this knowledge will now count for zilch. This is not so bad, and in fact half the fun will be exploring and discovering these things, but here is the kicker...I dont speak the freakin' language. While one could convincing argue that the dialects differ considerably between the Christchurch "ghetto", the Canberra Suburbs, and the Gore Hillbillyscape, it by no means resembles anything of the magnatitude of what I am about to experience. Perhaps, contrary to popular belief, I am not well accustomed to the feeling of being a "Stunned Mullet" or whatever expression one may wish to use to express haphazard bewilderment. However, this will become my daily state of being. Now, what also comes with this is a sense of excitement, which until now was not really present due to some of the other exigencies that I have had to attend to. However, interspersed with said excitement are intermittent but nonetheless violent feelings of trepidation and a stream of thought process that goes something like "why the hell would i do something like this just for personal growth you crazy fool, you know they dont even use toilets the same way as you!".
Actually the hygenie thing I am quite ambivalent about. As I have a penchant for being clean (I often bath or shower at least twice a day, and if I had the choice, three times), I like the idea of Japanese baths where you have a shower before entering the bath. However, while clean, the whole sharing with other naked people is a little concerning. I do not do that with friends or workmates here {shudder} so it will take some time to get used to it there. I may be able to console myself with extra cleanliness, but its still kind of, trying not to be judgemental here..."different". Especially the whole not having a sit down toilet thing. Oh well, at least ill get extremely strong inner thighs, and if not, one can always solve many of lifes problems by asking for extra cheese, and as I have found recently, watching SpongeBobSquarePants, who interestingly has now inspired a church, whose Tenets famously include:
- Running around naked was fun when you were a kid, and can be fun as an adult
- Go home regularly
- You can surprise the hell out of someone by throwing a birthday party for them when it isn't their birthday
- Wearing lucky underpants or a good luck charm may not work - but how can it hurt?
- Saa-laads suck
but then again, this church have a lot of namby-pamby stuff that I think miss the point like:
- Manipulating the honesty of the naive may appear to work in the short term but will not work in the long term
- It is not easy to fire someone, in fact, it is - and should be - one of the most difficult things you ever do
- Warning people about something that isn't a problem creates a problem
which while sage advice, their allure in my opinion lies in that they are just really fucking funny to do
Aaaah, the sweet refuge of insanity......
Anyway, for the whole one of you that care, I feel better, although every time I get introspective like this, I feel like beating myself for being so lame. I guess I am human, after all. Shocking, really.
Thursday, July 08, 2004
I got nothing
Things are pretty much in a holding pattern right now, so I thought in Lieu of a personalised post, I would post the proceedings from the:
Fellowship Baptist Creation Science Fair 2001
2001 Prize Winners:
Elementary School Level
(Photo Caption:Cassidy Turnbull and her uncle, Steve, who is not a monkey according to Cassidy's research)
1st Place: "My Uncle Is A Man Named Steve (Not A Monkey)"
Cassidy Turnbull (grade 5) presented her uncle, Steve. She also showed photographs of monkeys and invited fairgoers to note the differences between her uncle and the monkeys. She tried to feed her uncle bananas, but he declined to eat them. Cassidy has conclusively shown that her uncle is no monkey.
2nd Place: "Pine Cones Are Complicated"
David Block and Trevor Murry (grades 4) showed how specifically complicated pine cones are and how they reveal God's design in nature.
Honorable Mention:
"God Made Kitty" - Sally Reister (grade 3)
"The Bible Says Creation" - Aaron Kent (grade 5)
"Pokemon Prove Evolutionism Is False" - Paul Sanborn (grade 4)
Middle School Level
(Photo Caption:Patricia Lewis displays her jar of non-living material, still non-living after three weeks. 1st Place: "Life Doesn't Come From Non-Life")
Patricia Lewis (grade 8) did an experiment to see if life can evolve from non-life. Patricia placed all the non-living ingredients of life - carbon (a charcoal briquet), purified water, and assorted minerals (a multi-vitamin) - into a sealed glass jar. The jar was left undisturbed, being exposed only to sunlight, for three weeks. (Patricia also prayed to God not to do anything miraculous during the course of the experiment, so as not to disqualify the findings.) No life evolved. This shows that life cannot come from non-life through natural processes.
2nd Place: "Women Were Designed For Homemaking"
Jonathan Goode (grade 7) applied findings from many fields of science to support his conclusion that God designed women for homemaking: physics shows that women have a lower center of gravity than men, making them more suited to carrying groceries and laundry baskets; biology shows that women were designed to carry un-born babies in their wombs and to feed born babies milk, making them the natural choice for child rearing; social sciences show that the wages for women workers are lower than for normal workers, meaning that they are unable to work as well and thus earn equal pay; and exegetics shows that God created Eve as a companion for Adam, not as a co-worker.
Honorable Mention:
"Mousetrap Reduced To Pile Of Functionless Parts" - Kevin Parker (grade 7)
"Dinosaur & Man Walked Together" - Donny Findlay (grade 6)
"Rocks Can't Evolve, Where Did They Come From Mr. Darwin?" - Anna Reed (grade 6)
High School Level
Eileen Hyde (right) and Lynda Morgan (left), future Creation Scientists. 1st Place: "Using Prayer To Microevolve Latent Antibiotic Resistance In Bacteria"
Eileen Hyde and Lynda Morgan (grades 10 & 11) did a project showing how the power of prayer can unlock the latent genes in bacteria, allowing them to microevolve antibiotic resistance. Escherichia coli bacteria cultured in agar filled petri dishes were subjected to the antibiotics tetracycline and chlorotetracycline. The bacteria cultures were divided into two groups, one group (A) received prayer while the other (B) didn't. The prayer was as follows: "Dear Lord, please allow the bacteria in Group A to unlock the antibiotic-resistant genes that You saw fit to give them at the time of Creation. Amen." The process was repeated for five generations, with the prayer being given at the start of each generation. In the end, Group A was significantly more resistant than Group B to both antibiotics.
2nd Place: "Maximal Packing Of Rodentia Kinds: A Feasibility Study"
Jason Spinter's (grade 12) project was to show the feasibility of Noah's Ark using a Rodentia research model (made of a mixture of hamsters and gerbils) as a representative of diluvian life forms. The Rodentia were placed in a cage with dimensions proportional to a section of the Ark. The number of Rodentia used (58) was calculated using available Creation Science research and was based on the median animal size and their volumetric distribution in the Ark. The cage was also fitted with wooden dowels inserted at regular intervals through the cage walls, forming platforms which provided support for the Rodentia. Although there was little room left in the cage, all Rodentia were able to move just enough to ward off muscle atrophy. Food pellets and water were delivered to sub-surface Rodentia via plastic drinking straws inserted into the Rodentia-mass, which also served to allow internal air flow. Once a day, the cage was sprayed with water to cleanse any built-up waste. Additionally, the cage was suspended on bungee cords to simulate the rocking motion of a ship. The study lasted 30 days and 30 nights, with all Rodentia surviving at least long enough afterwards to allow for reproduction. These findings strongly suggest that Noah's Ark could hold and support representatives of all antediluvian animal kinds for the duration of the Flood and subsequent repopulation of the Earth.
Honorable Mention:
"Geocentrism: Politically Incorrect" - Richard Cody (grade 9)
"Young Earth, Old Lies" - Melvin Knuth & Glenna Reher (grade 11)
"Thermodynamics Of Hell Fire" - Tom Williamson (grade 12)
I am now enlightened. The bolded script is some of the things that I found particularly revealing. I must say the second place one in the high school section almost seemed not completely horse-cock crazy, but as for the rest.......
Fellowship Baptist Creation Science Fair 2001
2001 Prize Winners:
Elementary School Level
(Photo Caption:Cassidy Turnbull and her uncle, Steve, who is not a monkey according to Cassidy's research)
1st Place: "My Uncle Is A Man Named Steve (Not A Monkey)"
Cassidy Turnbull (grade 5) presented her uncle, Steve. She also showed photographs of monkeys and invited fairgoers to note the differences between her uncle and the monkeys. She tried to feed her uncle bananas, but he declined to eat them. Cassidy has conclusively shown that her uncle is no monkey.
2nd Place: "Pine Cones Are Complicated"
David Block and Trevor Murry (grades 4) showed how specifically complicated pine cones are and how they reveal God's design in nature.
Honorable Mention:
"God Made Kitty" - Sally Reister (grade 3)
"The Bible Says Creation" - Aaron Kent (grade 5)
"Pokemon Prove Evolutionism Is False" - Paul Sanborn (grade 4)
Middle School Level
(Photo Caption:Patricia Lewis displays her jar of non-living material, still non-living after three weeks. 1st Place: "Life Doesn't Come From Non-Life")
Patricia Lewis (grade 8) did an experiment to see if life can evolve from non-life. Patricia placed all the non-living ingredients of life - carbon (a charcoal briquet), purified water, and assorted minerals (a multi-vitamin) - into a sealed glass jar. The jar was left undisturbed, being exposed only to sunlight, for three weeks. (Patricia also prayed to God not to do anything miraculous during the course of the experiment, so as not to disqualify the findings.) No life evolved. This shows that life cannot come from non-life through natural processes.
2nd Place: "Women Were Designed For Homemaking"
Jonathan Goode (grade 7) applied findings from many fields of science to support his conclusion that God designed women for homemaking: physics shows that women have a lower center of gravity than men, making them more suited to carrying groceries and laundry baskets; biology shows that women were designed to carry un-born babies in their wombs and to feed born babies milk, making them the natural choice for child rearing; social sciences show that the wages for women workers are lower than for normal workers, meaning that they are unable to work as well and thus earn equal pay; and exegetics shows that God created Eve as a companion for Adam, not as a co-worker.
Honorable Mention:
"Mousetrap Reduced To Pile Of Functionless Parts" - Kevin Parker (grade 7)
"Dinosaur & Man Walked Together" - Donny Findlay (grade 6)
"Rocks Can't Evolve, Where Did They Come From Mr. Darwin?" - Anna Reed (grade 6)
High School Level
Eileen Hyde (right) and Lynda Morgan (left), future Creation Scientists. 1st Place: "Using Prayer To Microevolve Latent Antibiotic Resistance In Bacteria"
Eileen Hyde and Lynda Morgan (grades 10 & 11) did a project showing how the power of prayer can unlock the latent genes in bacteria, allowing them to microevolve antibiotic resistance. Escherichia coli bacteria cultured in agar filled petri dishes were subjected to the antibiotics tetracycline and chlorotetracycline. The bacteria cultures were divided into two groups, one group (A) received prayer while the other (B) didn't. The prayer was as follows: "Dear Lord, please allow the bacteria in Group A to unlock the antibiotic-resistant genes that You saw fit to give them at the time of Creation. Amen." The process was repeated for five generations, with the prayer being given at the start of each generation. In the end, Group A was significantly more resistant than Group B to both antibiotics.
2nd Place: "Maximal Packing Of Rodentia Kinds: A Feasibility Study"
Jason Spinter's (grade 12) project was to show the feasibility of Noah's Ark using a Rodentia research model (made of a mixture of hamsters and gerbils) as a representative of diluvian life forms. The Rodentia were placed in a cage with dimensions proportional to a section of the Ark. The number of Rodentia used (58) was calculated using available Creation Science research and was based on the median animal size and their volumetric distribution in the Ark. The cage was also fitted with wooden dowels inserted at regular intervals through the cage walls, forming platforms which provided support for the Rodentia. Although there was little room left in the cage, all Rodentia were able to move just enough to ward off muscle atrophy. Food pellets and water were delivered to sub-surface Rodentia via plastic drinking straws inserted into the Rodentia-mass, which also served to allow internal air flow. Once a day, the cage was sprayed with water to cleanse any built-up waste. Additionally, the cage was suspended on bungee cords to simulate the rocking motion of a ship. The study lasted 30 days and 30 nights, with all Rodentia surviving at least long enough afterwards to allow for reproduction. These findings strongly suggest that Noah's Ark could hold and support representatives of all antediluvian animal kinds for the duration of the Flood and subsequent repopulation of the Earth.
Honorable Mention:
"Geocentrism: Politically Incorrect" - Richard Cody (grade 9)
"Young Earth, Old Lies" - Melvin Knuth & Glenna Reher (grade 11)
"Thermodynamics Of Hell Fire" - Tom Williamson (grade 12)
I am now enlightened. The bolded script is some of the things that I found particularly revealing. I must say the second place one in the high school section almost seemed not completely horse-cock crazy, but as for the rest.......
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