So here is my suggestion. You bastards should go and get yourself skype. Then when baby is born, you can, see the baby. This particularly applies to types like Claire, who is also in "Another Country" and wouldnt it rock to be able to talk throught the internets. Also being in American lands you probably have broadband and not gay dial up or some half assed broadband. Ive been listening to the skype hype thing for a while, but what really convinced was the fact that, if you buy a USB phone, and connect using a digital camera (but a good USB 2.0 webcam will suffice) you can can get crystal pictures with a better than phone to phone connection.......for free! Because, its all digital and its all fabulous! And skype itself is free. And you can see my baby, which is any day now..........!!!!!!!! Actually if it wasnt for baby I would just suggest the USB phone, because, really, video conferencing still creeps me out a little......
Also another suggestion. For those of you who live in the technologically impoverished NZ, at least in terms of cellular phones and internetness, send me your phone numbers, with area code. I can ring you and talk to you for an hour for barely a dollar at home. Do it!!!! I believe some of you may be flatting together so that would make it even easier.
thanks for listening
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Scrambled Brains
The Countdown is on. Today, it became the 5th of September. This means that within a week it is certainly likely that I will be a Father and be in lawful possession of a Son. The feeling is hard to communicate, but given that I am capitalizing non-proper nouns, you should probably realise that it is a most serious thing. Before now, I was just taking care of one person, namely the lovely wife. She goes by Kaori in real life. Anyway, I knew she was pregnant, but "knew" doesnt always quite carry with it the sense of really "knowing". So I was a nice husband treating her well and doing what I was asked to do as "Morally Obliged SlaveMan" but sub-consciously I felt I was treating a sick patient and that was indeed my focus. The command prompt in my brain, triggered by teh instinct was the "Protect and Make Wife Well (PMWW.exe)" one. Now, with imminent arrival drawing near it seems I have really come to "know". I'm no longer running command prompts and actually thinking with all parts of my brain again, well, the scary parts anyway and yes, OH Holy crap, there will be a baby in the house in a week or so, and it will be mine. I still blame you good good good, oh so good NZ wine!!! Actually I dont blame you, I thank you. Now lets make up. You cool NZ wine? I aint seen you around for a while baby.......you sure are nice......oh yeah, yes you are...........c'mon, just a little taste......Okay, I'm going to stop before insanity totally completes its conquest of my mind but let it be said its advisable someone send me some NZ wine. Actually im sure it will be fine, a week of thinking then I'll be running another instinctual command prompt, the "Protect Baby and Wife and Don't Be a Screw Up of a Father (PBWDBSUF.exe) one.
Anyway, basic point. Baby. Coming. Soon. Exciting. Tense. Burahburahburahburaburabulahburahbing.............(Excuse me for a minute)
To be sure, the baby seems to be in great health. The doctors proclaimed it to be incredibly active and this on the one hand bodes well for baby's health, but kind of strikes the fear of god into me because I also was like that and I was an ASSHOLE of a child. My wife is prone to bouts of pyscho as well, but they are usually my fault. Probably. Actually her parents fault. Ive just moved into her parents house and its quite cool. Nice little family thing going on, aint been like that since.......well my family is kinda not normal, so since never. Anyway, Kaori on the otherhand finds her parents detestable, at least in the sense that she likes them as individuals, but hates the fact that they are married, particularly, married together. I think she wants to get the hell out of here as quick as possible. Luckily, I am loved by them, even the father, because basically, we share a love of drinking, history and politics, making fun of ridiculous Japanese teenagers, sharing the same gender (he is married had all girls and the wifes family is all girls too and the grandma lived much longer than the father so he hasn't had much male interaction in, oh 30 years, which must be tough for a mysognyst) . The mother loves me because, needless to say for millions of obvious reasons but, above all, and Im quoting word for translated word here: "I saved her from not only becoming a cackling old spinster but also an early death due to liver failure". Actually, me getting her pregnant only saved her liver temporarily, since we both love to drink, we'll be back on the wagon soon enough(sic). The first part is actually true, or so I tell her when I am in the mood for being physically abused. I'm kinda M, she is S. It's a Japanese thing. Please don't ask.
Right, bed. It could be tomorrow, who knows.
Countdown sequence initiated.
Anyway, basic point. Baby. Coming. Soon. Exciting. Tense. Burahburahburahburaburabulahburahbing.............(Excuse me for a minute)
To be sure, the baby seems to be in great health. The doctors proclaimed it to be incredibly active and this on the one hand bodes well for baby's health, but kind of strikes the fear of god into me because I also was like that and I was an ASSHOLE of a child. My wife is prone to bouts of pyscho as well, but they are usually my fault. Probably. Actually her parents fault. Ive just moved into her parents house and its quite cool. Nice little family thing going on, aint been like that since.......well my family is kinda not normal, so since never. Anyway, Kaori on the otherhand finds her parents detestable, at least in the sense that she likes them as individuals, but hates the fact that they are married, particularly, married together. I think she wants to get the hell out of here as quick as possible. Luckily, I am loved by them, even the father, because basically, we share a love of drinking, history and politics, making fun of ridiculous Japanese teenagers, sharing the same gender (he is married had all girls and the wifes family is all girls too and the grandma lived much longer than the father so he hasn't had much male interaction in, oh 30 years, which must be tough for a mysognyst) . The mother loves me because, needless to say for millions of obvious reasons but, above all, and Im quoting word for translated word here: "I saved her from not only becoming a cackling old spinster but also an early death due to liver failure". Actually, me getting her pregnant only saved her liver temporarily, since we both love to drink, we'll be back on the wagon soon enough(sic). The first part is actually true, or so I tell her when I am in the mood for being physically abused. I'm kinda M, she is S. It's a Japanese thing. Please don't ask.
Right, bed. It could be tomorrow, who knows.
Countdown sequence initiated.
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